Thursday, January 3, 2013

Frozen Inside

The song Frozen Inside by the phenomenal band HB has been resonating with me lately.  It seems to capture the feeling that I get at times:  I do feel frozen.  I want to do more for God, for others, but I can't bring myself to do it.  I just don't feel led to do anything at all, even when I'm trying to search for it.  The chorus of the song really nails it:
I am frozen inside, let me praise and love!
Though I want to know you,
I cannot force my heart to thaw.
The props built by me, they'll collapse with time,
And then it will be seen that
a homemade faith, it fails in front of God.
I want to praise and love!  But I cannot do it on my own.  Something needs to change inside of me.  I do realize there's a problem and try so many ways to fix it on my own, but I can't fix it.  Not really.  I can possibly build some things into my life that make me feel like they are working, sometimes. 

In the end, they all fall down before God.

Before we go on - I am not talking about the case where you know that you are supposed to do something and don't want to do it, or you know you are sinning and you just don't want to give it up.  The answer for that is obvious, though it doesn't make it any easier to do.

This is different.  This is when you honestly feel that everything is ok, God just seems to be missing in your life.  You want Him back, you want to feel his presence, your life seems right, but nothing you do seems to get a response at all.  Why does that happen?  I don't think we will ever know the answer for sure.  There is hope though.  Later in the song:
If you're frozen inside
Cannot praise or love
He wants you to be you
No need to earn his love cause
Every moment he says:
I love you, I care.
This road I made just for you
To be together now and forever more.
When you do get into that spot, no need to fret.  No need to worry.  Everything really is fine.  Look back on the great things He has done in your life and smile.  Continue to look for opportunities to grow, but if they don't come right now, that's ok too.  Sometimes the lesson is just that - I'll be back with you soon.  Handle yourself well until then.   He knows what you are going through and it is exactly right to build you up to that next level. 

Sometimes parents will leave their children alone for a little while.  That's great, it just means they are growing up!

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